Depression, Hormones or the Power of Injured Birds in Little Jumpers?

Egad, everything is making me cry at the moment.  People who know me in person and are accustomed to my usual brand of steely cheerfulness may be surprised by this.  It’s not even proper sobbing, with maybe some dabbing at the eyes with a lace hanky whilst pining over my lost love.  It’s not being SAD exactly.

It’s being unable to sing along to Frozen because I tear up after nine seconds.  It’s reading heart-warming stories about acts of charity and having to switch off because my chest hurts.

It’s seeing a picture of a black-headed gull with a poorly wing sitting in his little box in a rescue centre wearing a MOTHERFUCKING LITTLE GREEN JUMPER and having a total meltdown (Oh god that one was bad.  A TINY LITTLE JUMPER PEOPLE.  IT WAS CABLE KNIT).

Is this what people with normal emotional ranges feel like?  I’ve always wondered.

Why Women Don’t Respond

Sooooo, online dating. That wretched hive of scum and villainy.

I frequent some corners of the internet that discuss dating, and I also partake in online dating (OLD) myself, currently OKCupid.  Results include one long-term relationship, some friends, dates and hook-ups.  One of the complaints I hear a lot from men is that women just don’t reply to their messages, even to say they are not interested.  Now I know the reason women do this; there are a lot of men for whom anything other than “take me now, big boy!” counts as an insult, who will then take any contact as a green light to insult, harass and abuse the woman who had the temerity to not want to have sex with them.  I had a conversation with one such champion the other day.

The beginning of the conversation is missing because I had thought it was over and therefore deleted it.  He sent me a brief message and then when I didn’t reply immediately sent me another asking me to tell him if I wasn’t interested.  I checked his profile.  It had almost no information about him except that he liked “having some beers lol”.  So I sent my standard reply: “Hi, thanks for your message.  I don’t think we would be compatible, but good luck in your search.”  See?  See?  See how nice I am?

He sent me one back asking me to tell him why.  And again.  I explained that men very rarely respond well to even constructive criticism and that I didn’t want to get harassed for giving feedback.  He accepted this but wanted to know if he was doing something specifically wrong.  Having already told him I wasn’t interested three times at this point, I decided to be honest without being cruel.  I told him that I personally didn’t find his profile interesting or well-written, that if he read mine he would see that we had approached it in very different ways and that he would probably be better looking for women with whom he had more in common.  I did not point out that his profile read as though it had been typed out by a drunken chimpanzee with a lobotomy, although that would have been the truth.

Then this happened (names have been, er, kept to incriminate the guilty?):

dicky_01

dicky_02

dicky_03

dicky_04

dicky_05

dicky_06

dicky_07

dicky_08

So now you know.  This is probably the most persistent knuckle dragger to message me but I have a looooong blocklist of sad sacks who wouldn’t take no for an answer. This is normal; this is life on the internet for women.

By the way, if anyone does read this post, wants to comment, and feels the urge to #NotAllMen me, or tell me I should have not replied, or that I had a moral responsibility to somehow find the magic combination of words that would enable me to reject this twatwaffle without hurting his special manly feefees, then I have a message for you: Son, just don’t.[/Steve Rogers]